Well Shit. Now I Am One Of Them.

Yup. I am one of those damn people who works out in the morning and spends half her morning at work talking about her great work out.  

Those bitches. 

I am one. 

After baby #2 I was HUGE! Not huge in a polite, "you're just naturally built big" way. H-U-G-E! It was sick, sick, sick.

I denied it. Ate more. Made fun of people who worked out. And ate more. 

Then I said to myself one day, "whelp, your kids are going to get older, smarter and faster so you better get your ass in shape before they run you to the ground." 

I joined a gym, WHAT???!!! Started going to Zumba again---LOVE! And started counting calories again on myfitnesspal. Its working. 

And damn it, I love the classes I am in. 

I want to get stronger. And forget that crap about being healthy...I want to be HOT again! Fine, healthy is good too. 

So what-the-shit. I am busy with a full-time job, 2 kids, 2 dogs, husband who works 13-16 hour days and a house that apparently falls all to hell if you dont take care of it. Whats one more hour a day of neglecting all those things?? Ha ha ha. Who needs a social life? 

So here I am, posting publicly about this because as one of the best trainers I know (Purenergy) said, "People will be watching you now. No turning back."

No pressure ;-)

I hope I can post more now that my baby #2 is almost 5 months old (HOLY SHAT!!) and starting to be cool. Follow me and make sure I stay in line. 

So here I am 2 months into my journey and 13lbs down with only 60+ to go...bwa ha ha ha. 

I will post another one in August....hopefully the hot factor will start showing in that one.

1 New Baby + 1 3 Year Old = Happy Mama

Well believe it or not, I have (so far) survived the newborn stage.
Have I screamed at my husband at 3 a.m? Yes.
Have I questioned my sanity for having another baby? Yes.
Have I called my mom for help? Oh my lord, yes.
Have I been peed on, thrown up on, buried in laundry, exhausted, stressed, and temperamental? YES YES YES!


But those are just little blips in my weeks. This time around, this baby business is like a walk in the park. Sure I have had nights where I text a friend saying I dont think I can do it anymore, but for the most part, I have been kicking ass.

I love my new little baby so much and my big boy baby who turned 3 a week after baby was born has been AWESOME! I seriously could not have asked for better kids and I am so confused as to why I am so blessed.

I took 8 weeks off from work and it was nice. Well, nice and boring. I loved spending time with the kids doing crafts or just holding them, but I learned I need my career and I need my kids to see that too. Of course its hard to send a new baby to daycare.....so I brought him with me to work for a few days instead :-) Such a good baby.

So what have a learned this time around?

1. 2nd baby is much easier. Not sure why, but I guess this time I know crying wont kill him and holding him wont last forever.

2. Pregnancy is NOT for me. Epidural and c-sections ARE for me! Ha ha ha. I seriously have had 2 wonderful experiences at Sheridan Memorial and I sometimes fantasize about getting a mild injury so I can be there again....to rest ha ha ha.

3. Organized Rhonda is gone...for now. When you are late to one of your best friend's 2 year old's birthday parties by AN HOUR, you can pretty much kiss your organization good-bye. Bless her for knowing me.

4. For me, wine can really hit the spot.

5. Messes are a part of life. Told my mom the other day that Liam and were going to make some slime. "WHY?" is all she said. Ha ha ha. Because Pinterest, thats why.

6. And I learned that my husband, my wonderful husband, puts up with the most wicked woman in the world. Again, confused as to why I am so blessed with this amazing man.

I am so excited to see my boys grow up together. I came out of the shower today and could hear 3 year old talking to the baby about Thomas. Telling him who was who. SOOOO CUTE!

I hope I can get back to regular postings. I still have lots of opinions I want to share. But for now, miss me, cause I miss all of you!

Holy Crap. I Am Doing It Again?!

So in 12 more days, I will be in a hospital, peeing in a bag with out knowing its happening (wish that was the case now, especially at 4am) and smiling politely to the nurses who come in to check on me right after I fall asleep. Bless their cursed hearts that I will curse when they leave the room.

Who cares, because I will be holding my new baby boy! Weeeee!

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but pre-family days, pre-baby days, I was pretty cool. I knew good music, knew all the designers and could tell who made a dress a celeb was wearing, and put eyeshadow on everyday. Not only that, but I was pretty self-sustainable. Like, I could do stuff by myself.

Are my kids my kryptonite? Yes.

As the day gets closer I have been thinking a lot about what kind of person I am today.

This past weekend, I literally would have been a crying mess with out my mama. She went to the store with me! MOMS: you know how fabulous that was? Sure, I did not NEED her to go, but she went and it was PAIN FREE! I waddled around and got things I needed and she chased my almost 3 year old. THEN, she carried all my groceries in while I sat and ate a quarter pounder! WHAT?! If she was tired, she didnt show it. I was sooo weak! And miserable. And pathetic.

How is that possible? It's was the kryptonite. He never stops.

My self-sustainability left when I got home from the hospital with our first son. Some know how bad it was for me. My husband and my mom know all of it. I was looney tunes. I was not able to cope, at all. After about 4 weeks, my mom said, "whats the matter, this isnt you." DUH. So I kinda picked myself up and got a little better, but I have never been the same.

Naturally, I am terrified for baby #2. But this time, more prepared.
This time, mom's are not telling me what a joy parenting is and building up my standards.....you know why? Because now they know I know better.
This time, books arent dictating how I feel.....you know why? Because I have not read them, they suck.
This time, I know that no matter what, I am a mom now and only *I* know what my kid needs. And this time....I know that *I* can do it.

I am not as strong as I used to be and I know that I am definitely not self-sustainable because I could not live one day on earth with out my husband or mom. But I have the coolest, smartest, most kick-ass kid I have ever met. Its all because of me ...

and dad, and grandma.......

So something is working.

I always wish that baby #1 could get the calmness of mommy that baby #2 is going to get. But without baby #1, I would not know how to be a mom.

Am I gonna lose my mind, probably. Is life gonna suck for a while, probably. Will I curse my husband at 3am, probably. But I got this.

I swore never to have another kid. Holy crap.