Have you ever heard of feetball?

Obviously, my kid is the smartest kid on the planet. I know this because he is mine. While I have never had any worry about him knowing all his letters or saying all his numbers or kicking a ball or hitting a golf ball, I have worried about our lack of sports on the television. Go figure, I am worried about *not* having the TV on. Gerard watches rugby, I watch gymnastics…if they are on, which is hardly ever. So his exposure to sports is VERY limited.

Last night at a local sports bar, as I was writing numbers 1-20 in crayon for my two year old to name (which he did, whoop, whoop!) he glances up at the sports TV where the Giants were playing the Bears and said, “Feetball mom!” Oh God.

So I made an instant decision to have more sports on the TV from this day forward. BLECH! But I honestly believe sports are a great thing for children to participate in and watch. But, can they get interested in them even if they are not on the tv, and even if their parents don’t even have favorite teams they care to watch?

So I picked a football team for this year, and my son and I are going to be die-hard Raiders fans!

School-schmool! My kid don’t need no learnin’! He is gonna be a ball player….okay, well probably not because I care about his brain not getting damaged, but stilllllll, he is gonna know that football is called FOOTball!

What? Like YOU'VE never sent your child to daycare with a wound??!!

I sent my son to daycare today with about 4 teeny slivers on the side of his hand. Hey! For starters I did not know they were there until the last minute. Plus, he was not down, at all, with my trying to dig them out. He isn’t stupid. He knows that hurts.

What really has me thinking is how did I go all evening, night and morning without knowing my only child had wounds. I have had a sliver before, they are WOUNDS. Even at bath time when I like to inspect him all over, I did not notice these little meanies. I am a huge control freak and notice everything around me. I can even tell where the dogs laid all day while I am work, how many times my husband may have used the bathroom, ANYTHING. Nothing gets by me. Then this, THIS! My poor, poor baby. He suffered all evening and night with wounds. (FYI, he is totally fine and didn’t even show me his “owies” as he usually does….but stilllllll.) The old Rhonda, the Rhonda before kids, the Rhonda who was strong and independent and brilliant would NEVER have let that happen ha ha.

Gotta love the everyday failures as a mom. The things that snap me back into reality to remind me that I don’t have it all under control, and things are gonna get by me. Pretty sure the failure tally will increase as the day moves forward.

At least this evening, strong mama gets to make an appearance (rare occasion) and play Dr. Mom. Hope he still wants to be my friend.

Everyday Joys Can Turn Sour, Trust Me

I love hitting every green light while taking the main road to my office. Unless, I have just purchased a fat, cold coffee drink with tons of whip cream that I am just dying to get into. There is no safe opportunity to take the lid off, push aside the straw and slurp up the cream until a light turns red.

These are the kinds of simple things that can turn my day sour while all the other moms have "bigger" worries and are running around as though the first day of school is Armageddon and they just have so MUCH to do. I don’t get it. Don’t think I ever will. I think my son will be just fine on his first day of school if we have not made it to the Dr for a check-up or his lunch box and back-pack isn’t new. This is where my title fits me so well and why I put question marks behind “Mom???”

Back to the quirk that made me post: I love hitting green lights, unless……

Take a minute from your crazy Monday, yes even if you do have so MUCH to do, and fill in the blanks:
I love _________________________.
Unless, ________________________.

Let's Get Real

I am going to try to contain the billions of opinions I have and introduce them to you in small doses. Hard! This is my second post and if you are coming back for more, then I at least owe it to you to stay on topic.

As I wrote before, this blog was 2 years in the making. Makes sense because my son was born a little over 2 years ago. He is who changed me. He is who made me a better person. So why, after 2 years am I doing this? I am just so fed up with dishonest moms. You know, the moms who profess they have perfect lives, with perfect husbands, perfect kids, and perfect homes. Now I am not saying one can’t believe their lives are such, but come on! We, as women and as mothers need to start being real. That is what I want - to be real with each of you and never fake. I have so many examples of this scenario, but one really sticks out in my head.

My son was around 6 weeks old, screaming his head off in Wal-Mart. Pretty normal Saturday morning unless I had already dumped him off at grandma’s house so I could shop in peace. GASP! Yes moms, that IS allowed. After whizzing through the grocery section, this mama decided to extend the torture even more and head to the home section. I was on a mission to find a pillow to help me sleep, (uhhh you dummy Rhonda, sleep does not exist when you have a 6 week old). I crossed a major aisle and almost ran into a gal I knew who was ready to pop. I was polite, said, “hi,” and then asked when the due date was. All required mom talk. I don’t remember the date she said, I only remember telling her this:
“It’s not too late Heidi! There are options - you can give that baby away if you want. Trust me…this (waving my arms all around me, my cart and my screaming child) sucks and you will hate it!”
Blink, blink, blink. “Okaaaay. Well, see you later Rhonda.” she said as she inched away from me.
Poor Heidi, I am so sorry. But that is just how I felt. After being asked myself a million times when I was due, telling moms the date and then being told what a wonderful life I will have, I felt it was my new duty to tell moms the truth. After that encounter, where I always wondered if she thought I was a total nutter, I just changed my tactics a little. I didn’t think it was my place anymore to tell moms-to-be they can give their child up for adoption.

You see my point. I hope that moms can start being real. It is perfectly okay to be lost in the blissful life of motherhood, but wouldn’t you have benefited a little more if moms were honest with you. Remember, it is also perfectly okay to struggle and share that struggle with other moms. They have been where you are or were, even if they don't say it yet.

And for the record, motherhood does not suck as I screamed to Heidi. Not even a little bit. But it is damn hard. We can all agree on that.

What should I do today? Hmmmmm, I know!!!

“You should start a blog.” I hear that a lot. I toyed with the idea for over 2 years. I think I might have even tried to start one once, but that quickly faded. Then I started to really wonder why people said that to me. Am I crazy? Do they want even more material from my obscene mouth to point fun at? Is it because Snookie is becoming so tiring that they need someone else in their life who is lame so they feel better about themselves? Then I decided not to be so hard on my friends and think maybe, just maybe, they think I have something to say. So I asked my husband. “You just say things that everyone thinks, but is afraid to say.” He quickly noted that I don’t always say what I need to say with class, but at least I say it. Awwww, my darling husband, because of him, my life will now be consumed with this blog. I DO have things to say. I honestly doubt you will find what I have to say interesting, or helpful, but I don’t care.

In an effort to progress from having an idea to actually formulating a result, I knew it would be important to name my blog. That was work, I almost gave up. If you know anything about me at all, you know that I have zero motivation. Hitting a road block such as trying to come up with a name is usually enough to make me quit. You would be so lucky.

I know I want this blog to be about 2 things, okay, at least 2 things: me and how I cope being a mom. Growing up I always knew that I would be STRONG, INDEPENDENT, and a MOM. The first two came easy, until I became a mom. Everything I thought I knew, everything I thought I could be or wanted to be changed. I was not instantly the mom I thought I would be. What? How did that happen? In 2009, this new, weak, needy, bitchy and helpless version of me appeared, (okay, I was always bitchy, but now it is maximized) and I want to tell you about it. Everyone has heard the phrase “strong, independent woman” or “strong, independent mom.” I know maybe a handful of women who meet that phrase. I vow to get there one day.

I am certain there are other blogs out there just like mine. Do you know how I know that? Because I have a strong feeling that other women are in my same shoes - wondering where their real life went and wondering how being a mom changed them so dramatically. Even so, read mine.