Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Is The World Always Going To Be Messed Up?

A mom’s biggest fear? All together now: outliving our children.

Every once in a while, we get a jolt, a reminder of how precious life is. We get sad for other families, and secretly sigh in relief that our babies are okay. Reflection seems to be strongest at that time. We think of all the great things around us, how blessed we are and how any minute it could all be taken away. Someone sweet will remind us that we have no control anyway and to just be the best you can be and raise your kids the best you can.

Of course I fear the same thing. And just for good measure, true to “doom and gloom Rhonda” - that fear goes deeper.

I fear for my kid’s kids…and then their kids too. This mom person in me can’t handle knowing new babies could be born into a world that might not be what it is today and my own kids will have to see THEIR kids suffer. Knowing my children, as parents, will maybe see their own children suffer and really feel that much pain scares me most of all. The world is sketchy already, what is it going to be like in 50 years? A hundred years? I have little faith in it staying the same or getting better. I feel like the world will be a scary place with more bad people in it than good.

Are you already seeing my solution? That’s right, I am forbidding my kids from having children of their own…ever. Should work, right?

Ya, I didn’t think so. So instead I have to “do the best I can” and raise my children to be great people. I know, that is, really all I can do. Teach them everything I know, learn from them everything THEY know and live on this planet every day hoping it will stay the same forever and ever. If we are all living FOR our kids then it WILL get better and their futures will hopefully be free of any suffering. I see bad people every day, through my job and sometimes the scenarios in court are funny, but mostly I get scared. I get scared people like that exist and then I get scared that I am not doing enough to make sure my kids don’t end up with lives like that. Even if I do everything I possibly can, I know, bad things can happen. Even to the best people out there, young and old. I am learning to live for my son, and show him he can pick any opportunity he wants.

Living in that fear that we all have would get in the way of me enjoying everything he is showing me. Living in the extended fear that *I* have would get in the way of him enjoying everything HIS kids are going show him – and I know he is going to love it. Just like I do.


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