Saturday, August 13, 2011

Let's Get Real

I am going to try to contain the billions of opinions I have and introduce them to you in small doses. Hard! This is my second post and if you are coming back for more, then I at least owe it to you to stay on topic.

As I wrote before, this blog was 2 years in the making. Makes sense because my son was born a little over 2 years ago. He is who changed me. He is who made me a better person. So why, after 2 years am I doing this? I am just so fed up with dishonest moms. You know, the moms who profess they have perfect lives, with perfect husbands, perfect kids, and perfect homes. Now I am not saying one can’t believe their lives are such, but come on! We, as women and as mothers need to start being real. That is what I want - to be real with each of you and never fake. I have so many examples of this scenario, but one really sticks out in my head.

My son was around 6 weeks old, screaming his head off in Wal-Mart. Pretty normal Saturday morning unless I had already dumped him off at grandma’s house so I could shop in peace. GASP! Yes moms, that IS allowed. After whizzing through the grocery section, this mama decided to extend the torture even more and head to the home section. I was on a mission to find a pillow to help me sleep, (uhhh you dummy Rhonda, sleep does not exist when you have a 6 week old). I crossed a major aisle and almost ran into a gal I knew who was ready to pop. I was polite, said, “hi,” and then asked when the due date was. All required mom talk. I don’t remember the date she said, I only remember telling her this:
“It’s not too late Heidi! There are options - you can give that baby away if you want. Trust me…this (waving my arms all around me, my cart and my screaming child) sucks and you will hate it!”
Blink, blink, blink. “Okaaaay. Well, see you later Rhonda.” she said as she inched away from me.
Poor Heidi, I am so sorry. But that is just how I felt. After being asked myself a million times when I was due, telling moms the date and then being told what a wonderful life I will have, I felt it was my new duty to tell moms the truth. After that encounter, where I always wondered if she thought I was a total nutter, I just changed my tactics a little. I didn’t think it was my place anymore to tell moms-to-be they can give their child up for adoption.

You see my point. I hope that moms can start being real. It is perfectly okay to be lost in the blissful life of motherhood, but wouldn’t you have benefited a little more if moms were honest with you. Remember, it is also perfectly okay to struggle and share that struggle with other moms. They have been where you are or were, even if they don't say it yet.

And for the record, motherhood does not suck as I screamed to Heidi. Not even a little bit. But it is damn hard. We can all agree on that.


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